I had a good day. At a time in my life when I have been experiencing some burnout, today was a very good day. I have been praying for more help being patient, and finding joy in the small moments. Today it all happened just right. School went longer than normal, and I didn't get as much done with dd as I had hoped, but I relaxed about it and it turned out okay. We went to see our violin teacher, and she was having a good day, too. So there was more patience delivered to our children all around.

I confess that I don't know why I have been feeling the way I have. It has only been on some days, and usually only when doing school. I have been wondering if it has been hormones, because it feels like a mild depression. However, it isn't really so much about "doing school", for I realize that even if we weren't doing school, I would be feeling the same way. But the feeling comes and goes. It is here, as I recently told a friend, that I remember that I am helpless without God's help. I can be very dedicated and disciplined about the things I am passionate about. But I am helpless when I lose the passion about those things I believe I SHOULD feel passionate about. In fact, I have no control over my heart. I cannot keep my heart in the things I want to. Only the Lord can do this for me. I realize how important it is for us all to guard our hearts. It is the loss of heart which causes believers to stumble and fall. We are all walking on the edge of a precipice, and it is the simple loss of heart that can make us go over the edge.

So I am thankful for a day like today, when I feel like I didn't blow it. I remained patient. I heard someone say today that patience is not just being able to wait, but it is how you act while you are waiting. This really struck me. How do I act when I have to wait longer than I feel I should for my child to complete a task? Especially when I believe the cause is not inability, but simple dawdling. How easy is it for mommy to blow her stack over these things?

Another thing that has made me happy is that we have been doing a fair amount of decluttering in our house. A week ago, we painted the master bedroom, and took the opportunity to completely declutter the room. What a relief! Then yesterday, we decluttered our son's room, tossing out two wastebaskets of stuff. This evening, we decluttered the "playroom / overflow / soon to be school" room. Another two wastebaskets of stuff. Wow -- that feels good! And best of all, dh is allowing me to order two tall vertical storage cabinets and some corner shelving to place in that room, and truly tidy things up, so we can finally really use it for school. I am so excited about this! When the project is finished, I will post some pix.

Thank you, Lord, for such a good and satisfying day. Amen.