•6:39 AM
October 31, 2009 7:02 a.m.
This past summer, I finally finished Baby Girl's adoption lifebook. I had finished Little Son's book a good six or seven years ago, and Baby Girl's weighed heavily on my mind, as I had not carved out the time I needed to finish her book for quite a while!
An adoption lifebook is a retelling of your child's life story, from birth onward, at least through the time he or she became part of your own forever family. It is a useful tool for breaking the ice about the subject of your child's origins and the circumstances that led up to he or she becoming your son, or daughter. Writing it enables you to explain the story thoughtfully, and at your child's level of understanding, while choosing the most appropriate and affirmative words for telling it.
While Little Son has showed minimal interest in his book so far, Baby Girl picks her book up from time to time. Of course I read it to her directly a couple of times, but as she is already a competent reader, she numbers this book among her favorites to pick up and read on the fly.
A few days ago, we had planned a dip in the pool, when rain suddenly arrived and changed our plans for the afternoon. About ten minutes later, I found her on the futon, still wearing her swimsuit, reading her lifebook.
On another occasion, she had inspired Little Son to read his lifebook, too. So there they were, both children, reading their own books on separate sofas.
In passing, I caught snippets of Baby Girl's explanation to her big brother of why she is here, and not still in Korea. Although I will not repeat her special story here on the blog, she threw out phrases in a matter-of-fact way like "so my birthfather went bla bla bla" and "my birthmother couldn't yada yada yada" and "so if a b c and x y z, I wouldn't be here. I would still be in Korea." In fact, the lifebooks had sparked a great discussion between the children about their circumstances, and I listened in to see how it went.
Yep, that worked out fine. I didn't have to clarify anything for them. Another good processing experience. My daughter had explained everything just right to her big brother, as a teacher would explain fractions and decimals to her student.
I would have to say that the lifebook got finished just in time. I will still listen carefully to those conversations, though.
This past summer, I finally finished Baby Girl's adoption lifebook. I had finished Little Son's book a good six or seven years ago, and Baby Girl's weighed heavily on my mind, as I had not carved out the time I needed to finish her book for quite a while!
An adoption lifebook is a retelling of your child's life story, from birth onward, at least through the time he or she became part of your own forever family. It is a useful tool for breaking the ice about the subject of your child's origins and the circumstances that led up to he or she becoming your son, or daughter. Writing it enables you to explain the story thoughtfully, and at your child's level of understanding, while choosing the most appropriate and affirmative words for telling it.
While Little Son has showed minimal interest in his book so far, Baby Girl picks her book up from time to time. Of course I read it to her directly a couple of times, but as she is already a competent reader, she numbers this book among her favorites to pick up and read on the fly.
A few days ago, we had planned a dip in the pool, when rain suddenly arrived and changed our plans for the afternoon. About ten minutes later, I found her on the futon, still wearing her swimsuit, reading her lifebook.
On another occasion, she had inspired Little Son to read his lifebook, too. So there they were, both children, reading their own books on separate sofas.In passing, I caught snippets of Baby Girl's explanation to her big brother of why she is here, and not still in Korea. Although I will not repeat her special story here on the blog, she threw out phrases in a matter-of-fact way like "so my birthfather went bla bla bla" and "my birthmother couldn't yada yada yada" and "so if a b c and x y z, I wouldn't be here. I would still be in Korea." In fact, the lifebooks had sparked a great discussion between the children about their circumstances, and I listened in to see how it went.
Yep, that worked out fine. I didn't have to clarify anything for them. Another good processing experience. My daughter had explained everything just right to her big brother, as a teacher would explain fractions and decimals to her student.
I would have to say that the lifebook got finished just in time. I will still listen carefully to those conversations, though.
