October 21, 2010  10:34 p.m.   

Ten years ago today we became parents! It happened 9,700 miles away from home, in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, on account of a beautiful, bright-eyed and curious infant boy who is growing up to be a fine young gentleman. Today, we celebrated by going out for ice cream. Afterwards, he played both the piano and the violin for our listening pleasure. We cannot believe how blessed we have been all these years!

The moment Chips was first handed to me.

 

October 31, 2009 7:02 a.m.

This past summer, I finally finished Baby Girl's adoption lifebook. I had finished Little Son's book a good six or seven years ago, and Baby Girl's weighed heavily on my mind, as I had not carved out the time I needed to finish her book for quite a while!

An adoption lifebook is a retelling of your child's life story, from birth onward, at least through the time he or she became part of your own forever family. It is a useful tool for breaking the ice about the subject of your child's origins and the circumstances that led up to he or she becoming your son, or daughter. Writing it enables you to explain the story thoughtfully, and at your child's level of understanding, while choosing the most appropriate and affirmative words for telling it.

While Little Son has showed minimal interest in his book so far, Baby Girl picks her book up from time to time. Of course I read it to her directly a couple of times, but as she is already a competent reader, she numbers this book among her favorites to pick up and read on the fly.

A few days ago, we had planned a dip in the pool, when rain suddenly arrived and changed our plans for the afternoon. About ten minutes later, I found her on the futon, still wearing her swimsuit, reading her lifebook.

On another occasion, she had inspired Little Son to read his lifebook, too. So there they were, both children, reading their own books on separate sofas.

In passing, I caught snippets of Baby Girl's explanation to her big brother of why she is here, and not still in Korea. Although I will not repeat her special story here on the blog, she threw out phrases in a matter-of-fact way like "so my birthfather went bla bla bla" and "my birthmother couldn't yada yada yada" and "so if a b c and x y z, I wouldn't be here. I would still be in Korea." In fact, the lifebooks had sparked a great discussion between the children about their circumstances, and I listened in to see how it went.

Yep, that worked out fine. I didn't have to clarify anything for them. Another good processing experience. My daughter had explained everything just right to her big brother, as a teacher would explain fractions and decimals to her student.

I would have to say that the lifebook got finished just in time. I will still listen carefully to those conversations, though.

October 25, 2009 7:09 a.m.

I suppose in some families, Adoption Day has always been an emotionally charged event. So far, that has not been the case in ours. This week was Little Son's Adoption Day, a day he eagerly awaits and talks about for weeks in advance because:

1. He gets to do or go someplace we normally don't go, just for fun and

2. He changes his mind about a dozen times about what this activity shall be, and even has trouble deciding between two or three ideas, right down to the last week.

So, this week, he was trying to decide between:

Choice A: the beach, because the water is warmest in October;

Choice B: ice skating, because he has never done that before;

Choice C: a local, rather unsophisticated amusement park, close to home, that we shall call Flu World (for obvious reasons). And in our area, when it comes to theme parks, we have the best of the best.

Looks like Flu World won this time. And I have to say that we had a pleasant time, as Flu World exceeded my expectations for low budget fun.

Now as far as what adoption, and being Vietnamese, means to my son, perhaps it can be summed up in this way. "I am Vietnamese, and proud of it, and happy to hear good things about Vietnam. The staple food in Vietnam is pho, and I love it, and will settle for any kind of soup that I can get that resembles pho or at least is salty. And Mommy and Daddy, I would love if you would take me out to a Vietnamese restaurant, but if we cannot make it there, I will settle for nachos someplace else."

Yes, life is simple for Little Son.

So this weekend, he learned that he doesn't like the Scrambler or the Tilt-a-Whirl, but he loves Bumper Cars, especially at Flu World, where he is tall enough to drive them. Some highlight photos (and it is very hard to take a digital picture of your family on the Tilt-a-Whirl!)




Another highlight of the day was a free dog and bird show. And I have to say, ahem, that this show was worth every cent we paid to see it. Well, the best part was getting to pet the dogs after it was over.

The day was topped off by a visit to a local fast food Mexican restaurant, where Baby Girl and Little Son were able to enjoy their nachos. All in all, this Adoption Day celebration fulfilled all of Little Son's hopes for the day.

So tomorrow is our "baby girl's" Adoption Day. It is a day that some adoptive parents lovingly refer to as "Gotcha Day". But we call it Adoption Day here.

We asked our daughter what she wanted to do to celebrate. She replied that she wanted to go to a local pizzeria, "and maybe I can bring some money from my piggy bank, and put some in the thingy and turn it and get some gumballs for M[my brother]!"

This is one of the things we so cherish about our little girl. Almost since the day she arrived in our family, her big brother has lit up her life, and she has always let us know about it. She really adores him.

Thinks about him before she thinks about herself. She doesn't accept anything from anybody without first making sure that her brother gets his share. Whenever there is something beautiful to see, she runs to tell him about it. She has been this way every day since she's been a baby. It is amazing.

I don't think a big brother has ever been loved by his little sis quite like this.

This is the first post of my first blog. This is a special week for our family. We homeschool year round, but this week is almost no school. This is the first time I have ever brought our kids to VBS (Vacation Bible School) and they are loving it. I have 3-1/2 hours of solitude each morning this week (very unusual for me, since I am normally with my kids 24/7/365) so I have planned to alleviate my severe guilt and work on my daughter's adoption lifebook. You see, I did a beautiful lifebook for her brother several years ago (uh.. that's 5 years ago) and never got around to doing one for my dd. She is 5 years old this year, and I am finally doing it this week. Hooray! My guilt is gone!

So, I drove one morning to T*rget to purchase the scrapbooking supplies that I ran out of, or didn't already have, and I have been moving along on this project all week. I had already written a draft of the lifebook text on my computer, and know what I want it to say. Now, I just do the decorative part, and the actual creation of each page of the lifebook. It will have about 16 pages, of which I have dug into only 5 so far.

What is a lifebook? Well, for kids who were adopted, it is a great way to share with them their life story from birth, as we know and understand it. It is an opportunity to write to them, on their own level of understanding, about their earliest days/months/ or years, in a way that answers their questions, and smooths the way for further conversation. My son likes his lifebook, and I hope that my daughter will too.

Beginning next Monday, we hit the books again. Both of my children are being homeschooled with the Calvert School curricula. My son is exactly half way through third grade as of this week, and my daughter is about two thirds of the way through kindergarten. We homeschool year round, and plan our longest breaks between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day each year. We do most of our school during the summer months. We also do most of our vacationing at off times throughout the fall, winter, and spring. It is too hot to go anywhere in the south during the summer months (in my opinion) and we can avoid crowds by vacationing at off times.

Thus concludes my first post. Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy reading about us, and come back often!