•6:50 AM
Continuing my reading of Marva Dawn's book (see Part 1 of this topic) I encounter the second question pertaining to churches.
Before I begin, I did get a comment to my last post from a reader expressing her frustration that she needs to compromise on the church criteria in the city where she lives. In particular, she wrote " If the doctrine is correct, the format is worldly, if the format is family friendly, the doctrine is legalistic. I have to choose which I'm willing to live with and which I'm willing to give up. That long-term sense of compromise is draining." I can fully understand this. We, too, live near a rather large city with dozens upon dozens of churches of all shapes, sizes, and flavors. Yet, upon closer examination, over 90% of them can't even be considered by our family, and the remaining small percentage, upon closer examination, reveals churches that are entirely too comfortable with the culture of the modern world. Ahh, maybe it's just us. But I am having my internal struggles right now with possible new convictions arising in my life about worldliness in the church. And then picking up this new book, quite accidently, is continuing to deepen those questions for me.
But let's get on to question #2:
Does the pastor preach sermons and do the leaders teach classes that rebuke and challenge you and your children? Do the elders admonish you?
Funny I should read this now. We were just admonished for the first time this week by our elder of the church from which we are moving away. Not for anything morally wrong, but instead because we are considering leaving. Because we are visiting other churches. It has just added to the guilt and pain I already feel over this choice.
The author of the book adds that she doesn't see much loving admonishment in churches these days, perhaps because we are not willing to receive it. How true that is! How easy it is to get insulted and defensive when someone criticizes us, and when it comes from the church, the church is at a disadvantage because we can always jump ship and move over to another church down the street that accepts us as we are. If a church were to admonish us over a significant issue, like substance abuse, or "lifestyle choice", how quickly would we be jumping in our car and flying across town to the church that would surely accept us without judgment (and there are many). So yes, the church is always at a disadvantage, if numbers are the most important thing to them, and not God's heart.
So how have we received this admonition, this week, before our children? Humbly? When an elder reminds us of our vows, and we discuss this with our kids, how do they see it? What were our vows to our church? Were our vows intended to be lifelong, like a marriage, "through thick and thin" as our elder sees it, or did we ever interpret our church vows that way? What if we feel our church has failed us? What if our church doesn't seem to make decisions and govern with wisdom? What if there is wastefulness, imprudence with funds, and chasing after various winds? Especially when we try our best to be thoughtful about decisions in our personal lives?
These are the questions that have flooded our hearts, minds, and family discussions in our home lately.
Ms. Dawn writes "declining numbers in churches make us afraid to take the risk of discipline" and "clergy are overwhelmed by 'administrivia' and do not devote much time to meditation on the Word and prayer". I'm afraid these are sad truths, too, and for those in small churches, often the pastor is part-time, and devotes the majority of his mind and energy to other pursuits, leaving little mental energy left to thinking about the life of the congregation. I now see the advantages of a full-time pastor over a part-time one.
No real answers here today, folks, but lots of things to think and pray about.
Before I begin, I did get a comment to my last post from a reader expressing her frustration that she needs to compromise on the church criteria in the city where she lives. In particular, she wrote " If the doctrine is correct, the format is worldly, if the format is family friendly, the doctrine is legalistic. I have to choose which I'm willing to live with and which I'm willing to give up. That long-term sense of compromise is draining." I can fully understand this. We, too, live near a rather large city with dozens upon dozens of churches of all shapes, sizes, and flavors. Yet, upon closer examination, over 90% of them can't even be considered by our family, and the remaining small percentage, upon closer examination, reveals churches that are entirely too comfortable with the culture of the modern world. Ahh, maybe it's just us. But I am having my internal struggles right now with possible new convictions arising in my life about worldliness in the church. And then picking up this new book, quite accidently, is continuing to deepen those questions for me.
But let's get on to question #2:
Does the pastor preach sermons and do the leaders teach classes that rebuke and challenge you and your children? Do the elders admonish you?
Funny I should read this now. We were just admonished for the first time this week by our elder of the church from which we are moving away. Not for anything morally wrong, but instead because we are considering leaving. Because we are visiting other churches. It has just added to the guilt and pain I already feel over this choice.
The author of the book adds that she doesn't see much loving admonishment in churches these days, perhaps because we are not willing to receive it. How true that is! How easy it is to get insulted and defensive when someone criticizes us, and when it comes from the church, the church is at a disadvantage because we can always jump ship and move over to another church down the street that accepts us as we are. If a church were to admonish us over a significant issue, like substance abuse, or "lifestyle choice", how quickly would we be jumping in our car and flying across town to the church that would surely accept us without judgment (and there are many). So yes, the church is always at a disadvantage, if numbers are the most important thing to them, and not God's heart.
So how have we received this admonition, this week, before our children? Humbly? When an elder reminds us of our vows, and we discuss this with our kids, how do they see it? What were our vows to our church? Were our vows intended to be lifelong, like a marriage, "through thick and thin" as our elder sees it, or did we ever interpret our church vows that way? What if we feel our church has failed us? What if our church doesn't seem to make decisions and govern with wisdom? What if there is wastefulness, imprudence with funds, and chasing after various winds? Especially when we try our best to be thoughtful about decisions in our personal lives?
These are the questions that have flooded our hearts, minds, and family discussions in our home lately.
Ms. Dawn writes "declining numbers in churches make us afraid to take the risk of discipline" and "clergy are overwhelmed by 'administrivia' and do not devote much time to meditation on the Word and prayer". I'm afraid these are sad truths, too, and for those in small churches, often the pastor is part-time, and devotes the majority of his mind and energy to other pursuits, leaving little mental energy left to thinking about the life of the congregation. I now see the advantages of a full-time pastor over a part-time one.
No real answers here today, folks, but lots of things to think and pray about.
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