January 18, 2011 2:10 p.m.

It is kind of difficult to know exactly how to express this, but I will try my best.

We took our wedding trip nearly 17 years ago, to Lake Louise, Alberta, in the heart of the Canadian Rockies.  Throughout the entire week we were there, in May, there were clouds and mist hanging in over the mountains so as to prevent viewing the complete glacier.  This was compensated, though, in the fact that we were able to enjoy daylight until 10 p.m..  I remember walking from shop to shop in Banff one “evening”, feeling like it was about 7 p.m. when in reality it was after 10!

Then one day toward the end of the trip, for a few hours, the clouds lifted and we were finally able to see everything.  We were able to see what all the photographs had promised would be there to see…  It was only temporary, but we were able to see it then, and I still remember the experience to this day.

This is a reflection of how I have been feeling this month.  I feel as if the clouds have lifted in my spirit this year.  Of course, I wasn’t exactly realizing to what extent the clouds were obscuring anything, unlike my vacation at Lake Louise.  But looking back over past months, I now realize that I had been living through a kind of desert time in my spirit, as well as a mental dullness, which I was only partially aware of, and to which I attributed my age, of all things!

Only now do I see how much the “cloudiness” was obscuring, especially in contrast to my present experience and view of things.  For example, as I mentioned in a recent post, I have been blessed with a keen interest in reading scripture, exceeding that of the past few years.  Of course, we always had our routines, my reading in the morning, teaching our children the catechism and looking up and discussing scripture references, etc., but like anything, it was always motivated in part by a certain amount of dutifulness: like anything else in life that we remind ourselves is worthwhile but which gets to be a little “old” with time.  Now when I read scripture, context and meaning just seems to jump off the page at me. 

In addition, I have been feeling a greater sense of energy, an increased ability to concentrate and focus (and, therefore, be able to read books), and a stronger desire to minister to others through encouraging them.  There is a greater sense of fulfillment in the activities of every day, and more patience with the nuts and bolts of our homeschool than I have had in a long while.

I don’t know what the difference is, other than a tossing of one calendar into the trash and a posting of a new, 2011, calendar.  Can’t say it is that, necessarily.  I also don’t know if it is related to body chemistry, hormones, nutrition, or a few additional pounds of weight (hee hee), but I tend to think it has more to do with the Holy Spirit than anything else.   I would often remind myself, or read of the work, the gifts, and the fruit of the Spirit and long for a greater share as I would wonder if everybody’s spiritual journey could always seem as “dry” as mine.    But for now, at least, some of these benefits have become a more visible part of my experience.  And for that I am very grateful.

Jesus said:

If you love me, you will obey what I command.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth. 

JOHN 14:15-16