•4:51 PM
Thursday, August 12, 2010 4:50 p.m.
Chips received back his Calvert Fifth Grade test 100, and did well. The grades were all 1's with a 2+ in geography. We were very pleased with his scores, but I was mostly happy with one particular composition that Chips had submitted with the test. The teacher liked it, too. It is, in my opinion, his best attempt at writing to date. I have copied it here... what do you think?
Chirp! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-khhhher! A bird and a squirrel were the only living things that I could see besides the trees. I was walking through the woods. The soft carpet of pine needles crunched as I walked. It was so peaceful.
The squirrel started looking at me for nuts. I took some trail mix out of my pocket. That cute squirrel looked up at me with shining black eyes. A nut fell from my hand and then, bird to squirrel, they fought hard for that nut. The woods were filled with chirping and angry scolding. All living mammals and birds came out from hiding at the prospect of food. To settle the commotion, I gave up my idea of delicious trail mix and dumped the whole bag out. Families of animals, large and small, ran to the pile of nuts and began gobbling it up. Timid mother deer with wobbling young fawns walked out, and father deer strutted out with dignity. Little striped chipmunks scampered out from holes, and cardinals, chirping with anger, hopped up and down, around and around, trying to get their share. The madhouse of animals died away with the nuts being eaten, but a few dried raisins, and some berries remained. I turned to go, and just when I took my first step away from the berries, I saw a sparkle. I looked closely, and saw that the sparkling was from a small head from a chickadee that was poking out from the branches of a bush. It looked up, cocked its head, and hopped into the bush. I sat on a log to wait.
A few minutes later, the head appeared again, and the little bird peered around intently. Its gaze fell upon the berries, and in a moment, it chirped, emerged from the bush, and hopped timidly over to the berries. It chirped some more, and then more birds came from that bush. After the berries were gone, the birds flew gracefully away. I got up, turned, and hurried off toward home. I needed some food, now that the animals had eaten mine. The woods returned to peacefulness, and the pine needles crunched some more as I turned away from the scene of a natural wonder.
Chips received back his Calvert Fifth Grade test 100, and did well. The grades were all 1's with a 2+ in geography. We were very pleased with his scores, but I was mostly happy with one particular composition that Chips had submitted with the test. The teacher liked it, too. It is, in my opinion, his best attempt at writing to date. I have copied it here... what do you think?
Walk Through the Woods and the Encounter of Animals
Chirp! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-khhhher! A bird and a squirrel were the only living things that I could see besides the trees. I was walking through the woods. The soft carpet of pine needles crunched as I walked. It was so peaceful.
The squirrel started looking at me for nuts. I took some trail mix out of my pocket. That cute squirrel looked up at me with shining black eyes. A nut fell from my hand and then, bird to squirrel, they fought hard for that nut. The woods were filled with chirping and angry scolding. All living mammals and birds came out from hiding at the prospect of food. To settle the commotion, I gave up my idea of delicious trail mix and dumped the whole bag out. Families of animals, large and small, ran to the pile of nuts and began gobbling it up. Timid mother deer with wobbling young fawns walked out, and father deer strutted out with dignity. Little striped chipmunks scampered out from holes, and cardinals, chirping with anger, hopped up and down, around and around, trying to get their share. The madhouse of animals died away with the nuts being eaten, but a few dried raisins, and some berries remained. I turned to go, and just when I took my first step away from the berries, I saw a sparkle. I looked closely, and saw that the sparkling was from a small head from a chickadee that was poking out from the branches of a bush. It looked up, cocked its head, and hopped into the bush. I sat on a log to wait.
A few minutes later, the head appeared again, and the little bird peered around intently. Its gaze fell upon the berries, and in a moment, it chirped, emerged from the bush, and hopped timidly over to the berries. It chirped some more, and then more birds came from that bush. After the berries were gone, the birds flew gracefully away. I got up, turned, and hurried off toward home. I needed some food, now that the animals had eaten mine. The woods returned to peacefulness, and the pine needles crunched some more as I turned away from the scene of a natural wonder.
5 comments:
WOW! that is awesome what Chip wrote! I need to encourage my children to write more.
Here is a pat on the back mom. You are doing a awesome job!!!!
As for your question on my blog, that snake got into the house we are guessing by coming in the side door into the classroom. When closed it has a space under the door.Something I am begging my husband to fix. ASAP. He says that the snake only came in becuase I mowed his home down in the tall grass. I told him if that was his home he was living to close to the house.
Nicely done! It's so great to be a first hand witness to their growth, isn't it?
Beautifully written! You have good reason to be pleased.
Chip's descriptions are particularly impressive--he really shows us the scene in the woods. I also like the balance of the composition--starting with the single bird and squirrel, building to an animal "madhouse", and ending again with the focus on a single bird.
Very impressive all round, and since literature is my area, I'm particularly impressed by the structure.