FOR TOMORROW, September 14, 2009..

Outside my window...it is nighttime, and there are frogs stuck on the outside of my windows, as it has been a rather wet summer.

I am thinking...that I need to step up my time in the Word of God these days. I can use the extra nourishment.

I am thankful for...the opportunity for my children to participate in a children's chorus at church. They had their first rehearsal this afternoon, and they really enjoyed it. My children love to sing, especially Baby Girl.

From the learning rooms...Little Son is 75% through Calvert fourth grade, and Baby Girl is 85% through Calvert first grade. They are eagerly anticipating the long break for our annual family vacation.

From the kitchen...right now, the dishwasher is humming along merrily.

I am wearing...my shortie pjs, as it is about time for bed for me (10:20 p.m. on Sunday night, actually)

I am creating... a packing list for our upcoming camping trip.

I am going...on a long camping vacation in Tennessee beginning this week! We will be sleeping in our van, which we convert for such trips.

I am reading... When the Heart Cries, by Cindy Woodsmall. It is my first time reading Christian fiction that is set in Amish country.

I am praying... for a pleasant, peaceful, and positive visit with my in-laws later this week.

I am hearing... Self-Reliant Man puttering around the kitchen testing out Bic lighters for our possible campfires in much cooler places next week.

Around the house... we are in desperate need of weeding and grass cutting, as the growing of green things has been rather rapid this month.

One of my favorite things... is the happy week of anticipation before a much awaited and longed-for family vacation. Oh wait, that week is now!

I also love stopping to eat at Cracker Barrel when we are on the road, and we will be doing that a few times this month.

A few plans for the rest of the week: take the children to violin lessons and class, and chamber trio practice, and take the children to homeschool P.E. class. Also, figure out where we are going to board our doggie (we truly don't have room for him in the van, nor would we be able to control his barking at any campground). :-(

Here is a picture thought I am sharing......taken the other evening while walking our dog.


To participate in this meme, please visit The Simple Woman's Daybook here.

September 13, 2009 10:02 P.M.

I have gotten a little behind on my blog, but I wanted to share some photos from last week when the children baked a birthday cake for Self-Reliant Man. They certainly had a good time decorating it (Daddy wanted strawberry icing) but Baby Girl was quick to admit that "we overdid it on the birthday cake decorating. It was tooooo sweet!"
Baby Girl was very happy to help make the batter.
She just lives to help out in the kitchen!
Both of the children got a kick out of decorating. They made this one colorful cake!
Of course, there is always time to pause and act a little goofy.
It is supposed to be a beach, with the water at the far end of the cake (under the candles).
Daddy was duly impressed.

September 9, 2009 4:59 p.m.

I don't often write about books I have read but I had to comment on the book I just finished reading: Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison. This is an unlikely read for me, but I heard about it on somebody's blog (I do not remember whose blog, sorry) and it turned out that our local library carried it.

I have to say that this was an entertaining read for me. It caused me to laugh out loud on several occasions. There were also some very touching moments in the book. But most of all, it was a truly interesting book. The author is about seven years older than I am, and grew up in the years before Asperger's was even identified as a "syndrome". He just wondered why he had such difficulty with fitting in, and wondered to what extent his severely disfunctional family life would render him "illegitimate" as a person. Nevertheless, he rose above his deficiencies and made the most of his strengths and today he is a happy person with a very successful life: married, a father with a good relationship with his son, and a productive small business owner. I shared several details of the book with Self-Reliant Man, in particular the author's interest and talent around cars, tractors, and his early career as an electrical engineer. Self-Reliant Man is an electrical engineer for a large corporation, and I am a "retired" electrical engineer. Despite the author's unstable childhood and teen years, I classify this as an uplifting and encouraging read.

The book left me wondering about myself and Self-Reliant Man. I would tend to think that both of us have some "Aspergian" traits. Perhaps this added to my interest in this book. I happened to find an online self assessment quiz that measure's one's "AQ"; I guess that the quiz is semi-serious, and measures one's "Aspergian Quotient". So I took the quiz, and as I suspected, I came up as near borderline Aspergian myself. My score turned out to be 29! Rather high for a woman. As I read and answered the questions, I can only guess that Self-Reliant Man's score would be even higher than mine.

Oh well, not to worry. I think the results are interesting, and they certainly explain a lot! (to me, anyway, as most of my friends would never guess about my internal social struggles and the self-coaching I need to often do). However, thinking about this has been eye -opening as well, because it reminds me how we cannot ever judge another person for their personality quirks, or ever consider a person less "spiritual" or less Christian on account of their reticence to do certains things within their church community setting. The Lord created all of our brains differently, and one person's weakness can certainly be another person's strength (and vice versa).

By the way, thinking about Asperger's caused me to think back to a boy I knew in middle school. He was a nice kid, although he had a lot of strange and unusual habits and the other kids teased him unmercifully. He was also a whiz kid in math. Although Asperger's wasn't a diagnosis in those days, I feel certain that he would have fit the profile. I had a flashback to some of the interactions I had with him in seventh and eighth grade. Both of us were marginalized by the other kids when we were in school, but I was always nice to him and he was a gentle soul. By the time I began high school, he and his family had moved away, and I never knew what became of him. I thought I would Google his name and see what became of him. It turns out that he is a university professor today, and a mathematician. He teaches in the electrical engineering and computer science department and specializes in theoretical computer science, specifically a subfield known as "computational complexity". He has written about a hundred research papers and he travels the country and the world to present his work at conferences. His name is all over the internet. He has a blog, and I cannot even understand anything he writes in it; it is that esoteric. Apparently he is an internationally well- known and respected contributor in his field. Where would we be without such people in the world?

Very interesting. What is it with these folks and electrical engineering, anyway? Hmmmm.

September 8, 2009 10:56 a.m.

This is a link to an article in today's New York Times regarding the upcoming flu season, as it is complicated by the H1N1 flu.

This is just one source of information, anyway, for what it's worth. There are several other information outlets online, most of which vary in regard to the author's attitude toward the federal government and the mainstream media. Meanwhile, keep up using the hand sanitizer and regular hand washing. We now try to sanitize our hands immediately after leaving every public place, as well as remind our children not to touch their faces and nose after touching surfaces in public places.

I am not sure that we will get the vaccine. Right now I am not inclined to do so. However, because of this, we plan to refrain from many group activities until after Christmas. Just to be on the safe side.

FOR TODAY September 2, 2009..

Outside my window...well, I can't really see out, since Little Son drew the curtains shut in the middle of the afternoon. It seems he released a Queen butterfly in the family room and was afraid it would injure itself trying to fly through the window.

I am thinking...that I need to prepare a birthday cake for Self-Reliant Man, whose birthday is tomorrow.

I am thankful for...my healthy family.

From the learning rooms...Little Son has written a ghost story as a composition for this week. Baby Girl is reading The Secrets of Droon: Journey to the Volcano Palace. In fact, she is walking around the kitchen right now reading it aloud to anybody who will listen.

From the kitchen...potatoes are boiling for mashed russets, and meatloaf is baking.

I am wearing...my trademark green shorts, striped T shirt, and athletic shoes.

I am creating... an information notebook to take along with us on our camping vacation in a few weeks. It is a three ring binder with maps and printouts from various attractions in the area of Tennessee where we plan to camp. Can't wait!

I am going...on a long camping vacation in Tennessee in a few weeks. We plan to visit Fall Creek Falls, Chattanooga, and Pigeon Forge.

I am reading... Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's, a fascinating read, written by John Elder Robison.

I am hoping... for a miracle of reconciliation with a family member really soon.

I am hearing... Baby Girl is continuing to read her book aloud to her big brother at the kitchen table.

Around the house... we are hoping to have some success with late ripening watermelons in our garden.

One of my favorite things... is when I walk outside with the dog at 6:45 a.m. and I can see the mist rising off the pasture grass in the distance and hear the cicadas fading out for a new day.

A few plans for the rest of the week: looking forward very much to Self-Reliant Man being home for a three day Labor Day weekend.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...


To participate in this meme, please visit The Simple Woman's Daybook here.

It has been a long time since I have participated in a good meme. So I thought I would try out this one. This is the way one homeschool mom lives, anyway!

1. Do you cook every night?
I try to cook every week night, and Sunday. Fridays and Saturdays are eat out nights, usually inexpensive fast food or good value sit down.


2. What kind of laundry detergent do you use & why?
Purex Ultra Concentrate Free and Clear, because it is cheap, but mostly because Little Son is not allergic to it (and he has had problems with various laundry soaps).


3. Do you do laundry every day or loads at a time?
My intended schedule is to empty the laundry basket on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Sometimes I get behind and the basket piles up pretty high.


4. How often do you eat out per week?
Two to three times, usually Friday night, Saturday night, and possibly one other lunch or bagel shop breakfast.


5. Where do you usually eat out?
We like P*llo Tropic*l, S*nny's BBQ, B*ston M*rket, and any pizzeria that can remind my of my earlier life in New Jersey. We really liked F*zoli's but it has gone out around here.


6. What is your favorite retail store?
Don't have a "favorite" but I suspect we hit Mal-Wart more than any other.

7. What's your favorite thing to drink?
Diet Dr. Th*nder these days.


8. Do you take vitamins? What kind?
a multi-vitamin, a vitamin E, and a calcium tablet, when I remember.


9. What percentage of the household chores do you do?
75%


10. Do your children do chores? {Or will they, did they, etc}
Yes, they do chores like make their beds, clear the table, feed the dog, wipe down bathroom counter and sink, tidy up their rooms, pick up the living room.

11. Do you go to church?
Yes, we go as a family twice on Sunday, morning and evening.

12. Do you have a housework schedule?
On my good days, I try to follow a Flylady-inspired control journal, although sometimes I just blog instead (like now!)

13. Do you keep a working budget?
We do keep track of our spending, by keeping a log, but have found that we cannot possibly even things out because expenses come up unexpectedly, ALL THE TIME!

14. What do you do at night as a family?
We eat dinner together, clean up, walk the dog, practice violin, read a chapter from a family read- aloud book (currently 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) and get the kids prepared and into bed. Whew! We don't watch TV at all, and haven't for over six years. Once a week, we watch a N*tflix video, though, as a family.


15. How do you prepare yourself for a new week?
I look over my homeschool materials to see if everything we will need is already there. We just try to relax and enjoy our Sunday as much as we can before it all starts again.

16. What do your mornings look like?
Up by around 6:30, check the computer, walk the dog, then quiet time with Bible, then kids are up and I do catechism/Bible lessons with them. After that, we begin our morning chores together, eat breakfast, and try to begin our homeschool lessons by 9:00 if possible.

17. What time do you get up in the mornings?
6:30, give or take.

18. What time do you go to bed at night?
I try to be in by 11.

19. How do you manage all of the paperwork that floods into your household? {bills, school work, magazines, ads, etc}
I allow piles to build up on our kitchen counter, much as I hate this. Then occasionally, I get disgusted with the appearance of my counter and I get motivated and plow through it all, filing and processing as needed. I try to throw out as much incoming junk mail as possible when it first comes in.

20. How do you keep your household organized? {calendars, charts, etc}
I use a control journal that I created back when I was a Fly Baby. All appointments are written in on a wall calendar. I tried to use a portable written planner this year, but it hasn't stuck.

August 25, 2009 10:25 p.m.

Baby Girl really takes delight in books. A commonplace sight in our family is to see her in the back seat of the car with a big grin, talking about something she just read in a book. She loves, with all her heart, to read, and especially to read aloud to all of us. She can often be heard reading while I am driving: books about The Littles; Magic Tree House books; and Boxcar Children books. Books, generally fiction ones, bring her seemingly limitless glee.



You see, this is Baby Girl's gift. Whereas Little Son is gifted in music, Baby Girl is gifted in language. This is a girl who could speak her first Korean word by age 4 months. On her first birthday, we observed a Korean custom in which a tray of objects was placed before her, each object signifying a possible destiny / calling / future career. Items like a dollar bill, a thread, etc. signified wealth, long life, etc. So she chose.... a pencil. Of course, we believe all is in the hands of Providence, but from that day on, we casually joked that she might become a writer.

As of now, she is six years old, a young six, not yet 6-1/2, and all she wants to do is write, read, and read aloud. And then write again! On the days when I don't work through a Calvert lesson with her (usually Mondays) I have taken Self-Reliant Man's advice and assigned her a book report. While I am working with her brother, I have her read a book and write a summary of it. For some kids, the idea of this might reduce them to tears. Not so for Baby Girl, because I am asking her to do the two things she loves best, read and write.

So you can get an idea of the type of writer we have in Baby Girl, I am re-typing here the report she wrote on Monday. She decided to write about the first Boxcar Children book, a book she had read a week earlier. I have typed it exactly as she wrote it, spelling included, although I did add in a couple of missing periods for clarity.

How about that for Baby Girl's book report?

We just finished a longer read aloud book: The Swiss Family Robinson. It did take some time to get used to the style of this book, as well as the language used. However, the children seemed to have no problem with their listening comprehension. They sometimes listened better to me than I did to myself. Self-Reliant Man also listened and appreciated the moments of humor in the book.

I must say that this book will never find its way into the annals of politically correct literature. It definitely had a pro Christian flavor, as the father of the marooned family was a preacher and carried his faith into their circumstances. But also -- goodness, there were so many shootings and killings of animals to serve the survival needs of the family; although I take no issue with this, it did get tedious and descriptive of the steps of reaping the rewards of the animals' corpses, well beyond what I wanted to know about.

In fact, I found the entire book tedious, and enjoyed it less than the rest of my family, I feel.

But I must add this comment. If someone were to ask me what was the most fruitful aspect of our homeschool and the education of our children, I would tell them without hesitation: READING ALOUD. We have never shied away from reading challenging literature with rich vocabulary and complex sentence structure, and we have seen dramatic results from this in our children: in their general speaking vocabulary, their own reading choices (Little Son has recently been enjoying George MacDonald books), and their writing style. Both children are writing so well that I know it is all about being read to. There is no doubt in my mind. So if you want to make a dramatic difference, read aloud, and not just fluff books but challenging, meaty literature above what you might normally think of. It will develop their brains more than anything else you do!

Next book in line: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

We are most of the way through world history, and we just had a lesson on Christopher Columbus. So, after I finished reading the chapter to Little Son, I asked him a few comprehension questions. It went something like this..

ME: What were the names of Columbus' three ships?

LITTLE SON: The Nina, the Pinta, and the Pina Colada!

I am so glad Calvert School is preparing him so well...

Here is an update on an old friend of ours who received a heart transplant this past weekend. He is doing pretty well. They weaned him off the ventilator on Sunday evening, and he was eating light snacks on Monday. He is in a lot of pain, however, because the nurses are trying to get him to cough and breath deeply and, well, you can just imagine how his chest must be feeling.

I did some research on heart transplants and discovered that there are, at any time, about 800,000 people in the world who are identified as needing a transplant, while only about 3,500 of these people succeed in receiving one. That is about 0.4%.

So many have been praying for Raymond, and so far he is truly beating the odds. We are so thankful!

Anybody still up tonight? Please pray hard for our friend, Raymond, who is likely getting a heart transplant tonight. He is just 50 years old, and a father of one nine year old son. Thank you very much!

UPDATE: Raymond got his new heart last night and the last I heard he was doing well. The hospital needs to wean him off the ventilator next. Please keep praying. Thank you!!

Wow, it was a "fun" morning. Just returned from my second ever esophagogastroduodenoscopy, or EGD for short. Try saying that ten times fast. Anyway, this experience was more "normal" than last time, as they put me completely under using propofol for about 15 or 20 minutes. All went well except now I have to wait a week for the results of the biopsies.

You see, I have an irreversible condition known as Barrett's Esophagus, the result of self-medicating for heartburn for upwards of 12 years or more. My dad used to tell me I should go get it checked out, and have the EGD done, but I was very creeped out by that idea and figured there wasn't anything a doctor could do for me that an over the counter heartburn medicine couldn't. So when Zantac, and Prilosec, and Tagamet all came out on the market as OTCs, I stocked up on them at the supermarket.

Well, now I have Barrett's, and that puts me in the high risk group for cancer of the esophagus. So now I am on the two year plan, which means that I get to have an EGD every two years for the rest of my life. I am on surveillance, so they can see if I am making any movement across the spectrum between Barrett's and the big C. The spectrum includes various stages of cellular dysplasia, or pre-cancerous cell changes. Statistically, every year I run a 0.5% chance of developing cancer. Thats 5% in ten years, 10% in twenty years, etc. You get the picture.

Moral of the story: don't ignore heartburn. Don't let it go for years and years. Get a doctor's opinion about it, and go get that EGD if you need to. It is important.

Sometimes when I am in a social group situation, I am flabbergasted at how "out of it" I feel. The conversation is going a mile a minute and everyone present seems to know all the details about everyone else's lives. I figure that they must be talking all day long to one another on the telephone. But my phone isn't ringing. Hmmm. I feel so out of the loop sometimes.

Well, the truth is, I have been out of the loop.

Recently, I signed up to participate in a group bible study at the church I attend. That is, I signed up online. Afterwards, I was sent a link to an online group used for communication within this group. The link was for a Facebook group, only we haven't had an account on Facebook. So I signed up, under Self-Reliant Man's name, not mine. I really didn't know anything about Facebook yet.

The next thing I know, Facebook is suggesting that I add friends to my account. What more, it is suggesting to me people that I actually know. I figure Facebook searched through my email address book and matched them to account holders. So I naively started connecting to the friends. A little later, out of curiosity, I open up my Facebook homepage and voila, there is a continuous newsfeed of comments and photos from several of my Facebook friends. I see now that they are sharing little snippets of their lives as they go along through their days, sometimes several posts a day. I find this fascinating. Suddenly, I know more about their daily life than I have in months. Is this what everybody has been doing?

Some of these people, (and I am not referring to anybody I know who reads my blog), when I see them and ask how they are doing, they reply "busy". Maybe now I see why they have been so busy? So how do I handle all the knowledge I can now accumulate through Facebook?

When one of my 50 Facebook friends reports that they had a really bad day, that their child is sick, that their car engine died, that their uncle needs prayer, that something bad or sad happened, am I now responsible to respond to this? After all, we all go through multiple minor crises throughout our everyday lives, and for those friends we rarely see, most of them are long forgotten or glossed over by the time we catch up with each other in person (or by phone). I can see, however, that I will now feel guilty if I do not respond to the daily ups and downs that I read about. What if I just passively read through the posts and don't respond at all? Will they think that I don't care? Do they expect to hear from me if they report that their child did well on a test today, or that they got a flat tire? How do I respond to the incredible volume of information I now have access to?

(As an aside, right now for some reason, our family is on the prayer update email list for three churches. How do I pray for all the prayer requests for three churches? It is the same dilemma. Too much information.)

Not to mention that the temptation to check several times a day for new posts from friends can be very powerful. After all, it is like looking through a daily newspaper when all the news is about people you know. This can be very interesting. But again, too much information. I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a black hole, to be sucked in forever at any time. Can't I run away from it all and just have friends the old fashioned way, relying on telephones, email, and getting together from time to time? If I don't get into this, do I have to forever feel like I am out of the loop?

Socializing is forever changed. And right now, I just want to whine... "do I have to?"

I just had to put this here. Great video.

Oh boy. The other day I read this article on the repercussions of the Kash for Klunkers program and it made me sick to my stomach.

After watching Self-Reliant man spend the entire cool season building an engine, to think of the deliberate destruction of functioning vehicle engines really breaks my heart. For example, I repeat this quote from the article:

The program requires that the clunkers be put out of service for good, so dealers must destroy the engines on cars that are traded in. We watched this process yesterday at the DCH Paramus Honda in Paramus, N.J. It is quite laborious and potentially dangerous. And it certainly is final.

Nick Clites, who is in charge of used cars for the dealership, was prepping a 1988 BMW 535IS, with 214,000 miles on the odometer, for its death. He drained the oil, then donned a silky blue protective suit, goggles and gloves and poured a sodium silicate solution into the engine. He revved the car, and within a few seconds, the solution hardened into a glass-like substance, the engine seized up and the car was dead.

Is it just me who thinks this is absolutely nuts? How many of these cars were in much better shape than true clunkers that are still out on the road, owned by people too poor to consider buying a new car, even with a $4,500 discount? And we are deliberately destroying them, for what? Just so someone can buy a new car that gets at least 4 mpg better? This is insane.

How much CO2 is produced by the manufacture of a new car? Anybody think about it?

But with those in charge in Washington these days, I am not surprised at the insanity. This was a program that helped a select group of people, dealerships for sure, and not poorer people but middle class at least. Yes, new cars got sold, but junk car businesses are now faced with the prospect of handling thousands of junk cars, all at the same time, making less profit on them (after all, they can't do anything with the engines anymore), and depositing untold amounts of material, that which cannot be salvaged, into the landfill.

It has been said that concern about climate change is the new religion, and I see how this is true. The biggest "sin" these cars committed was being unable to go more than 18 miles on a gallon of gasoline. So they got the ultimate punishment -- execution. It's all about CO2 now. Nobody cares about solid waste. Just CO2.

What do real environmentalists have to say about Kash for Klunkers? Or do we only concern ourselves with the earth when it means getting people to go out and buy something new? Let's get them to buy wind turbines, solar heating systems, hybrid cars, more efficient air conditioning systems? Don't really do anything to get people to conserve energy, or purchase less "stuff" so that less energy gets consumed in producing the stuff. Just figure out ways to make people buy expensive new gizmos, equipment, and vehicles by offering rebates for their purchase.

How many tons of CO2 does a human being produce in their lifetime? How about in a year? Is the new religion going to spawn a Kash for Grandmas and Grandpas program some day? With the plans going ahead on the health"care" bill, one never knows.

Yesterday was a big day in the life of the church we have been attending this year. They held the very first worship service ever inside their new sanctuary, and we were there. Whereas I had mixed feelings a few weeks ago about the new property, I have to say that the experience yesterday was very beautiful. The music was extraordinary. The sermon was on Jacob's dream of a ladder going to heaven, and his later realization that surely the Lord had been in this place. And it took me back to the church experience of my childhood.

The whole time you are there, you have to remind yourself that this is a brand new church, built in 2009, the 21st century. Nobody builds churches that look like this anymore. Churches look more like civic centers or all purpose centers than traditional churches. Simplicity is the rule of the day. There are certain reasons for this, one of them economic (obvious) and the other is that modern churches seek to create a different ambience, tone, and environment than the churches of our grandparents did, mainly to attract the unchurched and the under 40 crowd.

Well, I have to say, the under 40 crowd was definitely here in force yesterday. In fact, on a normal Sunday, this church has about 900 in attendance. Yesterday, this 1500 seat structure was packed and rows of extra seats had to be put out. It seemed like nearly all the Reformed world (at least in our part of the state) was there to see the spectacle and to enjoy the first preaching of the pastor, Dr. R. C. Spr* ul, in his new sanctuary.

Now normally, Self-Reliant man and I are very pragmatic when it comes to the use of church resources, preferring the simpler and more cost efficient/ economic solution when spending church resources. In fact, if you don't have the money, don't spend it. That is the way we live our personal lives, and that is the way we especially believe the church should be when it comes to finances.

However, we definitely were caught up in the enthusiasm of the day, yesterday. Like I said, it was truly beautiful. The worship experience (which was the same as always except for special music), the grounds, everything about it, were beautiful. Those of you who live near me, you must check this out some time, either for a morning or evening service.

Music was provided by the normal string quartet that plays at every service, but in addition, there was a brass and woodwind ensemble, as well as the adult choir and organ. The music was glorious, and the acoustics (for the music) were amazing. What a place to play the violin! I could hear our friend's (Miss O, the leader of Mark's chamber trio) first violin all the way in the back of the church. Music included Sleeper's Awake (Bach) and Allegro from Magnificat (Bach). It was magnificent. The hymns that were sung were Surely the Lord is in this Place (Colvin), Holy, Holy, Holy! (Heber), Amazing Grace(Newton), and a hymn that was written by our pastor, Clothed in Righteousness.

Well, I felt like we were part of history yesterday, as it was the 12th anniversary of the founding of this counter-cultural church. I didn't take any pictures of the inside of the sanctuary but I do have these few photos of the outside and the grounds.

Here is the main entrance, after the service was over.
This is the adjacent lake, with a view of one of the structures of the adjoining property of Lig*nier Ac*demy (brand new seminary and Bible college).
A shot across the lake revealing a different building. This is taken from the fellowship hall of the new church.
Here is another picture of the grounds that you walk past between parking and entering the church. Not a bad place to go to seminary.

We are truly amidst the dog days of summer here, and I am discovering that this is my worst season. Not that I didn't know this already, but this summer just serves to confirm it once again. Honestly, I went into summer with an open mind, even abstaining from air conditioning well into the month of May. But sitting here in late July, looking back, and mindful of the fact that we still have two official summer months left to go (plus an additional unofficial summer month) I realize that everything in my life that is not perfect is amplified in my mind during these summer months.

For some reason, I am more aware of the hormonal fluctuations that I go through and their effect on my state of mind, my emotions, and my sense of physical well being. Today -- even this week -- is a good week for me, but last week was not. In fact, I probably didn't blog about it last week because I was still "trapped" in it. Does that make sense?

So, on an "off" week, like the past week or so was, I experience mild depression, additional aches and pains, sciatica in my left leg (or lower back pain), fatigue, inability to concentrate and remember things, and a generally negative outlook. During such times, I find myself concentrating on all the things I worry about, all the things that are not perfect in my life, and the sense of isolation I often feel during the summer months. Summer heat and humidity tends to make all these things more intense.

These are the weeks when I worry about whether I will adequately meet the needs of my children in the oncoming year of our homeschooling journey. While I feel confident that they are getting all that they need academically, I wonder if they need more interaction with others outside the family. Heck, I know I do! Sometimes I feel like the Lone Ranger, you know? This year, it is all complicated by the fact that we started attending another church this year, and yet have not had the time to engage ourselves in the life and community of this church, other than to attend Sunday morning services. Due to our extensive home projects, we haven't joined anything, or gotten to know anybody yet. So I resolve to change all that come early fall when activities crank up again. But for now, I feel very isolated. Then, I remember my neighbor, in her desire to be helpful, telling me that I really need to be teaching my kids a foreign language, or we really need to be getting out to see my mother-in-law who can't travel and lives in an assisted living facility. So the guilt piles up.

Fortunately, there are always new things to consider and look forward to. There are always changes we can make and activities we can join. We don't live on a remote island by ourselves, but rather in an area with plenty to do for homeschool families. I just need to get off my duff and take advantage of them. We need to get involved more. It is not impossible.

Fortunately, this week has been better for me, physically and mentally, and I am able to look at things with better perspective. I have more patience this week. I feel more confident that we will be able to meet the challenges of the future. I think I can keep on keeping on.

We just returned from a long trip to visit my mother-in-law. It is a big deal for our family to get out to see her, and it always seems to cause her much emotional turmoil, due to the nature of her illness. Whereas she suffers in a way that we cannot fix for her, I concentrate on the fact that this visit was a blessing to her, even though it was difficult for her at the time.

In the morning, when I am walking the dog, I notice at a distance a young mother I know. She is running long distance, preparing for a marathon. I marvel at her ability, with young children, to set such a personal goal, and wonder how she does it (besides being generally younger, thinner, and more energetic than me). But then it hit me the other day. I, too, am running a marathon. It is a very long distance, and requires much stamina. Sometimes the scenery doesn't change very much. Sometimes I don't feel that I am getting anywhere. Sometimes I don't know how I am going to make the last miles. On some days, I don't even know how I am going to make the next stride. I often wonder at how every subsequent mile seems to take more out of me, and I wonder how I will make the finish line. Some days I am content to just stroll and put out enough effort just to creep over the finish line, even if everyone else gets there before me. How can I run so as to get the prize?

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Cor. 9:24

Wow. There's the exhortation.

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.. Hebrews 12:1b-2a

There's the advice I need.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.... Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40: 29, 31

And there's the promise!

Oh No! I am at it again. I do this every time my life slows down a little bit. Every time that I am not overwhelmed with the immediate activities and tasks around me. Every time I have a little breather. Yes, I create my own whirlwinds in my mind. That is, I begin to worry about the future. Every little single detail of it.

NEWS FLASH: We interrupt this blog post to view the launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavour from our front yard. Actually, I was so busy blogging that we kind of missed it, only hearing the rumble from inside our house. By the time we ran outside, it was a done deal, with too many clouds to get a decent view. Thankfully it finally launched, after this being the sixth attempt, thanks to our wonderful Central Florida summer thunderstorms!

Anyhow, back to what I was saying. It is during these times that I try to plan out my kids' lives. You know, everything from what activities they will be signed up for this fall to where they will be going to college. And along the way, I took detours into high school homeschooling options, their requirements and expenses, scholarship opportunities, academic requirements and prerequisites, math placement in Calvert, financial aid and strategies to get the most of it, local symphony orchestra participation, virtual school options for highs school courses, yadda yadda yadda.

All I can say is.... my poor husband. He patiently listened to me plan our kids' entire lives for the next 16 years, and never once did he say "Chill out, they're only in first and fourth grade!" He would be trying to talk to me about the evening's supper options, while meanwhile I would be talking about a website describing admissions requirements for the college of my choice (at the moment). You see, I create these whirlwinds of my own, and the internet just feeds into it. I can be such a restless soul sometimes. I can't help myself.

I think I have returned to earth now. It is summer of 2009, and my kids are 6 and 9. Let me remind myself to take one year at a time.

Sigh....

Little Son and Baby Girl have been interviewed for our local newspaper. I have marked and slightly edited the entry above. If you cannot read it, here is what was quoted:

"I like the pretty horses and the pony rides. I've been coming to the parade my whole life. I also like the candy and the airplanes." Baby Girl, 6 years old.

"I like the old cars because my dad has a 1969 Jaguar. I like the fire trucks -- they are loud. I saw the helicopters chasing each other." Little Son, 9 years old.

Pretty neat, huh? We were excited to see their photos in the paper. We are planning to bring a copy to their grandmother when we travel to see her this weekend.

My life has not been very bloggable this past week. But then again, maybe it has and I haven't had a chance to mentally process the micro-events of our lives and decide how to write about them.

I have been going out of my way to minimize my time on-screen, so much of my absence has been intentional. I am being convicted very much, lately, of the need to reduce screen time. I know I have been so addicted. This means I have gotten serious, once again (after not being serious) about keeping my computer time to weekends and Wednesdays. One the days where I eliminate electronic technology from my life (lovingly referred to as "amish day" here at home, to the disdain of my children) I have had to go to more effort to think of more constructive ways to fill the small voids in my day during which I normally would have slid onto the seat in front of the monitor and keyboard to check on ... whatever.

But I feel the results have been an enrichment of my days. There has been much more reading going on in our house, and more reading aloud as a family, and I am very happy about that.

Aside from this, here are more tidbits from our lives here at MOCS:

• Baby Girl has lost her top two center incisors within the past month. Here are some of the better photos of the results.
  

• We had a lovely Independence Day here at home, attending our local parade and lighting off our own small fireworks in our yard. Baby Girl was all dressed and ready to attend the parade, including a special bag she decorated to collect candy. Turns out I had to turn her around to change her outfit a bit, because this one would certainly have been too hot. The Fourth of July celebration here where we live is very nice, but we are always melting by the time we are ready to go back home.

• A local county newspaper interviewed both of our children for a column about our parade. As my children are both very opinionated, they were very happy to share their feelings about our local celebration! I look forward to seeing the results, with their photos, next week.
• We are bird sitting for nine days. Self Reliant man's boss' boss (or is it bosses' boss?) is the doting parent of these birds. The birds are Tweeters (parakeet), Sunny (cockatiel), and Mystic (lovebird). Prior to this, I had no experience with birds, and I am amazed at how BUSY they are, all day long (and Sunny is 21 years old!). The children have been giving these birds constant attention, and I have had to impress upon them the seriousness of this responsibility we have taken on. In other words, don't let the birds out of the cage (er.. house!), don't stick anything inside the cage without permission, don't spray any aerosol cans in the house, etc. Anyhow, the photos are not great of the birds. I'll have to work on that.
  

• We will be traveling sometime in the month of July to visit my mother in law, who lives in assisted living. It has been way too many months since we have seen her. Since we will be van camping while we visit her (in Florida.... in July) Self-Reliant Man has been working on making window shades to reduce the incredible heat gain through the windows of our van, so that the portable air conditioner can work, possibly, during the daytime, while the sun is shining (instead of just after sunset, or in the shade, or while it is raining, or at night, like it does now). Don't know whether it will actually work, but Self-Reliant Man gets an A+ for trying. They are simply blackout window shades held on by magnets, in our truest classy style of doing things **wink wink** Pretty fancy, eh? The camping neighbors in their Class A 40' motorhomes will be so envious.

See how dark they make the van interior, even with full sun shining upon the windows?

• We have made our camping reservations for our annual family vacation in late September. It will involve camping in three different locations in Tennessee. I will post more details about this later. It is so nice to have a cool mountain vacation to look forward to at this time of the year, and it is only two months away!
• Some of you know that our family is between churches. We have been attending a church since around Christmas, but have not joined, as we want to make sure that this is the right place for our family. Shortly after beginning to attend this church, we learned of the construction of their new sanctuary and fellowship hall. It was being built adjacent to property that is owned by a well known international Christian ministry (founded by the same pastor as the church). Well, as it is mostly finished now, today was the first morning that the congregation attended services at the new property. For about a month, services will be held in the fellowship hall, as the church awaits the final completion of the sanctuary. Well, right now, my first impression of this new location is that it is simply...... stunning. Yes, stunning would be the word. We haven't even seen the best part, yet, and the rest that we did see is just amazing. Amazing, as in..... over the top amazing. That is all I can say about it so far. A lot of money was spent on this facility. It is even going to be featured in a PBS program soon, due to the artwork and windows. Going to church there was a strange feeling, and I am wondering what effect the new environment will have on the church culture and congregation. Even the property and grounds are gorgeous. Many people were there today who we have never seen before, and they were taking a lot of pictures. It wouldn't surprise me if the photos were in cyberspace already. Anyhow, our family is taking all of this in, and figuring out what it all means. I don't know what else to say. It is hard to believe that this church still only has 600 members. These are photos of the church that I found through Google. They must have been taken within the past month or so. It only captures about half of the facility, that which is most visible from the road. The rest of the property contains two older mansions that are going to be modified to become a seminary. All structures are located around a small lake. The setting is really lovely.
  

• Our tractor has been working marvelously well. All Self-Reliant Man has to do is press the button for the starter motor and off he goes. This is such a beautiful thing! We can have the whole yard completed in between 2 and 3 hours, and the rest of the weekend available for other things. Hooray! Now here is poetry in motion...

• Finally, I am saddened by the news of a tragedy at my former workplace, W*lt Disn*y W*rld, early this morning when one monorail train collided with another. The 21 year old driver of one of the trains was killed, probably instantly. It was during one of the final runs of the night, at 2 a.m., after clearing away a large crowd from the Independence Day festivities. Having worked myself for years as an engineer, almost literally in the shadow of the monorail (my office window looked out at the monorail service facility), it is difficult to imagine the possibility of such an accident on this impressive form of transportation. It is the first fatal accident on this system in the history of WDW. My prayers and heart go out to the family of this young man, who never made it home from work this morning.